The Talk

"You will run into people in these streets who don't give a damn about you."

That is a statement generations of young men heard from fathers, grandfathers, uncles, coaches and male teachers.

It was often the opening statement of "The Talk."  One of those critical life lessons that needed to be verbalize and reinforced in as young males asserted their independence.

It was often followed by reminders that one of a male's greatest obligations to his family was coming home.  Because if he cannot come home he cannot provide for his children or his mother and he cannot defend his sisters.

"The Talk" remains every bit as critical today.  It is the time to cover all those situations where potentially deadly force could mean the difference between survival and tragedy.

Raising our young men to confront all situations directly does not necessarily prepare them for any challenge they might face.

A people conditioned to flourish in a society of oppression only accomplished that by knowing how to assess, think, plan and react thoughtfully to the challenges they encountered in their lives.

In my nearly 60 years, I have known many men who have survived conflicts with those who did not give a damn about them.  I have also seen many families crushed under the grief of deadly violence.

"The Talk" is a memorable conversation many of us had with very wise older men.  They may not have had a lot of schooling, and some might have even been illiterate, but they knew their obligations and they understood the threats.

If we want our young men to one day be old men, some things can not remain unsaid.

Sons, nephews, their friends, and the young men in the lives of our daughters and granddaughters who may not know, or may not hear, it from those who'd mourn their loss the most, need to hear it somewhere.

"You will run into people in these streets who don't give a damn about you." Start the conversation there and then let them know why that matters.

Word, it's what it is!

Guns Kill People if People Want them Too

12/20/2011

Terrible Tragedies --

This is what our children are doing. Seventy people were arrested and 161 guns seized over the past year in a sting operation mounted by police in Washington, D.C. Police set up a recording studio and put out the word that they were interested in guns and drugs.

They took in more than $7 million in various drugs and illegal weapons. They also learned a lot about murders and other crimes, including a plot to take down the studio and possibly kill everybody inside.

The word often used on the street between folks in the life is "soldier." They use it as a term of honor and respect among themselves, even though it has nothing to do with crap like this.

There is no honor in street violence. There is no discipline in dealing death for a few dollars. There is no manhood in disrespect for humanity.

That's the tragedy of it. Not just the funerals of people who die much too young for being in the life, but too often, the good folks caught up in the violence and the mothers, sisters and children who shed tears or won't venture outside without looking out the blinds first.

When I drive through cities and see young men on canes, or in wheelchairs for all the wrong reasons, it's hard to not think of them as the lucky ones who have survived a plague of urban violence that's ripping our families apart.

Music used to be fun, and it still should be. This is not a blast at rap or hip hop. They are art forms no different than jazz, R&B or country. We are losing a generation to a war on the human spirit.

The tragedy is thuggery, and the indignation that doesn't rise up until the honored dead are family, close friends, or the children of someone we know.

Don't hate the players, hate the game. The stakes are life or death.

— with Jeanmarie Stokes at Any Sad City, USA .