The Talk

"You will run into people in these streets who don't give a damn about you."

That is a statement generations of young men heard from fathers, grandfathers, uncles, coaches and male teachers.

It was often the opening statement of "The Talk."  One of those critical life lessons that needed to be verbalize and reinforced in as young males asserted their independence.

It was often followed by reminders that one of a male's greatest obligations to his family was coming home.  Because if he cannot come home he cannot provide for his children or his mother and he cannot defend his sisters.

"The Talk" remains every bit as critical today.  It is the time to cover all those situations where potentially deadly force could mean the difference between survival and tragedy.

Raising our young men to confront all situations directly does not necessarily prepare them for any challenge they might face.

A people conditioned to flourish in a society of oppression only accomplished that by knowing how to assess, think, plan and react thoughtfully to the challenges they encountered in their lives.

In my nearly 60 years, I have known many men who have survived conflicts with those who did not give a damn about them.  I have also seen many families crushed under the grief of deadly violence.

"The Talk" is a memorable conversation many of us had with very wise older men.  They may not have had a lot of schooling, and some might have even been illiterate, but they knew their obligations and they understood the threats.

If we want our young men to one day be old men, some things can not remain unsaid.

Sons, nephews, their friends, and the young men in the lives of our daughters and granddaughters who may not know, or may not hear, it from those who'd mourn their loss the most, need to hear it somewhere.

"You will run into people in these streets who don't give a damn about you." Start the conversation there and then let them know why that matters.

Word, it's what it is!

Misdirected Anger

The deaths of 16 Afghan villagers was a tragedy.  That it allegedly occurred at the hands of an American soldier is unfortunate. 

Sad things happen in war, and military doctors and judge advocate office investigators will sort through the reasons why. 

Still, the disturbing backlash of violence now being blamed upon this isolated act is every bit as tragic.

In Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Libya, Israel, Lebanon, Kenya, France,Turkey, the United Kingdom, Uzbekistan and the United States, terrorist violence has repeatedly been used as a political weapon.  

It moves well beyond the limits of "by any means necessary" to the senseless slaughter of innocents.  Victimizing  civilian populations for political gain is a strategy worthy of universal condemnation.  

NATO and the United States have had successes building alliances with locals willing to hunt down killers who use terror as tools of death and fear. Collateral damage should not be an acceptable means of bringing about change.

The vocal indignation registered by those led would rule Afghanistan is meaningless. They have had years to step and and take control of their country, but corruption and graft have kept them from reaching that goal. Silk robes and posturing politics do not represent power to a people still waiting for basic services.

If the American soldier allegedly involved turns out to be responsible for the killings, he will face justice before a U.S. military tribunal. International security forces maintain the right to discipline their own.

Once the Afghans can handle the security of their own cities, villages and their entire country, they will have the right to subject foreign nationals to justice in their own courts.  For now, that is not only impossible, it is out out of the question.

Universal condemnation of terrorism, and no quarter for those who would target the powerless represents a course that leads toward a more peaceful world.To not negotiate with terrorists is no longer enough.

The threat they represent is ample enough to warrant pre-emptive actions.  It is  why the drones of the United States are armed and continue to strike when intelligence warrants a deserving target. It is a foreign policy approach that is paying dividends. Others in the world should adopt that approach. 

A Sweet Voice Stilled

Whitney Houston, a songstress born to one of the most talented families on American music, died Saturday in Beverly Hills, Calif. She was 48.

Houston, whose career included numerous gold records, a starring role in an iconic dramatic musical, numerous Grammy Awards, Emmys and American Music Awards had a troubled past marred by drugs, volatile relationships and suspected domestic violence.

The daughter of 70s R&B artist, Cissy Houston, who later became a top Gospel performer, Whitney Houston was also the cousin of Dionne Warwick and her late sister, Dee Dee, and the goddaughter of Aretha Franklin.

Formerly married to Bobby Brown, she self-parodied her life in a reality television show entitled "Being Bobby Brown" in 2005. 

The cause of death and the details of her final days will be investigated by police and reported for days to come.

Hours after her death, legendary music producer, Clive Davis, hosted his annual pre-Grammy  party, at which Houston had been expected to perform.

"Whitney would have wanted the music to go on, and her family asked that we carry on," Davis told his guests.

Alicia Keys, Sean Combs, Tony Bennett, the Kinks and others honored the singer's memory with words and songs.

For now, I choose to remember a world class talent. Like so many great artists, she has gone before her time. The flaws of her life and her personal demons do not diminish her talent.





Whitney Houston made music, her songs brought joy and made many little girls, grown women and sweet men want to hit and hold high notes.  Like Billie Holiday, Van Morrison, Mama Cass, Jimi Hendrix, John Belushi, Richard Pryor and Kurt Cobain, remember her for her art, and not her final act.